The Caller

The doorbell rang at 4.38am. The innocuous “ding-dong” took on a menacing timbre. I was instantly afraid. Nothing good rings at 4.38am.

It rang again. Slowly approaching the door, I made out the dark figure of a man behind the glass. It’s 5.47am now. He’s still there.

I’ll never leave.

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The Cabin in the Woods

I build a cabin.

Spiders creep everywhere. I kill some. Shut them out.

49 days living and working in my secluded wooden prison. Day 50, forget to close a window before nightfall. The spiders come in. I thought they wanted the cabin. Silk-bound I realize my error; they want me.

Stalker

Only after I saved his life did I recognise the famous movie actor. Would have drowned without me. Bloke didn’t know how to thank me.  Bought me watches, cars, a live-in chef. Rings me every fucking day, weeping. Flies over for friggin’ hugs.

So,  I’ve taken a restraining order out.

The Salesman

A man once knocked on my door in an attempt to sell me double-glazing. I could see through the thin veneer of his too-honest sales pitch and couldn’t rid myself of the sinister feeling that he was not who he said he was. I was right; he kidnapped my dog.

META METAMORPHOSIS

As Greg Jones awoke one morning from nightmares, he found himself transformed into Franz Kafka. Greg the quantity surveyor now had an artist’s sensibility. Trapped and riddled with pains, boils and crippling anxiety, he died that night understanding for the first time, the simultaneous beauty and horror of life.

Unclassifiable

Landed on greenred planet 1333991001. Lifeforms intelligent/benign. They communicate neurally. Stully said his thoughts were stifled but, what’s new? Unclassifiable structures spread out across landmasses. We will not investigate. Crew has become subdued. We will leave this planet. We will not submit reports. We will never return. Forget everything.

The Priory Diary

Chapter 1 – May 19th

Damaged rockstar checks in. I take snaps with concealed digi. Snaparazzi extraordinaire!!

Chapter 2 – June 2nd

He seduces me; I love him. Maybe!

Chapter 3 – June 22nd

Shit, I’m late!!!

Try retrieving piccies from publisher.

Chapter 4 – June 24th

Horrorhorses, I’m pregs!!!!!

Chapter 5 – July 2nd

He’s avoiding me. Says I’m just an orderly!

Chapter 6 – July 18th

He checks out. Pics published; ruins his ‘credibility’. Ha!

Chapter 7 – Nov 19th

Publisher marries me.

The Prisoner

When they finally caught him, he was put away for thirty years. He grafted, networked, played the system and towards the end he was running the damn place. When he was released, at sixty-five, no one came to meet him. No fanfare; no future.

He would kill to get back.

The Nightmare

He awoke, relieved to realise it was just a dream. Blood, knife and tears in horrific clarity. He got up cautiously, still reeling from the experience. In the dream, the man had smashed through the kitchen window and escaped. But no, his wife’s lover’s head remained safely in the freezer.

Charmed, I’m sure

Randall Menzies-Futherington was born to parents worth billions. He became a tap-dancing child-star aged eight, attended rehab aged eleven and wrote his autobiography aged twelve. His teens saw him CEO of a vast nanochip corporation and in his twenties, he retired. Luckily, he died in an horrific accident aged thirty-three.